Today I put some reminders of the beach around the house. Nothing gives me peace the way that a beach or river can. I put a tiny "Gone to the Beach" sign by the front door,finally put up the framed prints of beach rock arrangements that I've meant to do for about a year, and found a good spot for the momento I picked up in Ocean Shores for the baby. All that weekend it was my hope to find something in one of the shops to commemorate the days we spent happily at the beach with only the news of the pregnancy on our minds. On the last day there, I spotted it at the last stop on my list: a wooden block carved with a Hawaiian turtle petroglyph. It was beachy, it was Hawaiian, the Honu is a mother symbol. It was perfect!
I only wish I could feel more enthusiasm. I had so much energy last weekend, but since then I've just been tired and irritable and nauseated and sore - usually all at the same time. I'm still constantly living in my physical skin, instead of enjoying my anticipated future. There's nothing like physical ailments to keep you grounded in the present.
I'm hoping that this afternoon free of nausea and headaches will be a sign of the energy I'll have this upcoming week. I have so many things to do, and once I throw myself into a project, I know I'll feel better. I just have to not feel like death warmed over so I can start.
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