"Want Gay Marriage-Don't shove it down my throat"

Last week was National Coming Out Day. Last week was the anniversary of the murder of Matthew Shepard. Last week a bullied teen in British Columbia committed suicide because she had no one to stand by her. Last week I read in a parenting magazine about how to teach my child to stand up for other kids who are being bullied. And my mother, she taught me to stand up for what I believe in, to speak up when things need to be said, to demand my rights and never let them be trampled on.

Last week, someone posted as a response to a pro-Gay Marriage post: "Want Gay Marriage-Don't shove it down my throat".

Have we really gained such little ground?

What will it take for the majority to realize that as long as we allow this culture of creating second class citizens to survive under law, it will continue to thrive in the hearts and minds of the populace? What will it take for people to realize that stupid comments propagate such a culture? What will it take for people to realize that such a culture promotes bullying? What will it take for people to realize that separate but equal is not equal?

Take a moment, people. Look across the room at someone you love. Ask yourself, would you still love them if they were gay? Ask yourself, what would you do if you discovered it was your child posting videos to Facebook about being bullied by her entire school? Ask yourself, what would you do if your spouse was dying and the hospital taking care of them refused to let you say goodbye? Ask yourself, what would you do if your best friend started dating outside of their race? What if your co-worker's church was vandalized and burned? What if your child cut themselves every day after coming home from school because they had no control over the daily ritual of facing people who constantly put them down for being a slut, a fag, a nerd, a fatty, a Muslim. What would it take for you to care enough to make a difference in their lives? How close would this person have to be to you? Does someone have to be in your immediate family for you to care? Is being your neighbor enough? A coworker? How about a friend of a friend? And how bad would their torture have to be before you had a change of heart and stood up for them? Would you wait until the few voices against them turned into a dozen, an entire classroom, an entire school? Would you wait until they cried themselves to sleep on a weekly basis, or until it was daily? Would you wait until the cutting started, or until the noose was tied?

Every inane comment you allow to slip by is another wound to a victim of bullying, another wound to our community, another wound to our culture, another wound to our democracy. You have every right to say whatever the hell you want to whomever they hell you want. I pity you, your family and loved ones, if those are the words you choose to spout. I pity your community. I pity our nation. We should be better than this. We should have come farther by now.

My mother stood up for others by confronting bad guys, by talking to her children about the differences between people and how differences are ok. The parenting magazine suggests commenting on positive behavior the child sees in daily life and media, and suggested having their kid invite the bullied kid over to play. I'm going to do everything in my power to ensure that not only will my child grow up to stand up for others, but that she will live in a society where she can love whomever she wants and never hide that out of fear. Love and beauty should never have to hide from fear and hate. Today I start by standing up to you and your ridiculous comments that are based on hate and not factual reality. In a few weeks, I continue by voting to ensure marriage in this state is defined by two people loving each other who want to enter into a civil contract, not defined by some religious text that has nothing to do with our government, and not defined by a group of people who only have hate and fear in their hearts.